Bart: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, contrary to what you've just seen, war is neither glamorous nor fun. Homer: But what's a day off from work when I'm never gonna see my beloved son again! Closing the trap. With it's homages to several war films (Full Metal Jacket, The Longest Day, Stripes and especially Patton.) Army: Three!! It originally aired on the Fox network in the United States on January 14, 1990. We're all set. The Carthaginians knew it. Homer: Yeah right, this ought to be good for a laugh! Nelson: Ha! You're our hero, Bart! I'm not saying I'm not a hero, I'm just saying I fear for my safety. Nelson: Hey look, they got food at this thing. The package includes text for “Bart the Genius”, “Bart the General” and “Moaning Lisa”. I'm insulted. Don't tattle, always make fun of those different from you, never say anything unless everyone feels exactly the same way you do. Lunch time! Herman: My arm? [realizes his nose is bleeding] Hey, wait a minute. Ms. Melon: Don't you get it, Bart? 'Bart the General' has Bart imagining his own funeral. He looks so lifelike. Army: Because I cheated on the test. She is known for her long-running role as Bart Simpson on the animated television series The Simpsons.Cartwright also voices other characters for the show, including Nelson Muntz, Ralph Wiggum, Todd Flanders, Kearney, Database, and Maggie. It's lunchtime. Rocky Taylor. Lady: Half the people here are named “Grampa”. If you'd like to learn more about war, there's lots of books in your local library, many of them with cool, gory pictures. I'll trade you 1,000 picoliters of my milk for 4 gills of yours. Why don't you go build a rocket ship, brainiac? It was the first episode written by Jon Vitti.It is the show's first normal episode as well as the first to use the signature title sequence, though this version is much different from the one used from the second season to the twentieth season. The key to Springfield has always been Elm Street. Finally, this disc also has three Scripts to browse through. Bart: OK, next group! Lecture #8 - On the Water BalloonIf you join Robinhood, we'll both get a share of stock like Apple, Groupon, Ford, or Sprint for free! I think. It could be one of these chemicals here that makes him so smart. OK! Dr. Pryor: Tell me, Bart, are you ever bored in school? Homer: What, and violate the code of the schoolyard?! Do I ever! Grampa: So Herman, has the large-type edition of this month's “Soldier of Fortune” come in yet? Apple polisher! Bart: Teacher’s pet! I got upset. I got something to tell you. A few good sight gags (Bart rolling home in the trash can) and a couple of moments of sparkle in the script, but overall a bit rote. Grampa: Well, I guess I can't help ya, but I know someone who can. When we left off, Calvin and Tanya were arguing... that free will is an illusion. Two! Homer: So next time this boy thinks your gonna through a punch, you throw a glob of mud in his eye! Marge: Mmmhmm. The scene continues. You're outta there! OK, I can use this one from the Franco-Prussian War. Hamster Number Two is the control hamster. Marge: What on earth are you talking about Homer?! Lisa: You'll never get one now, Mr. Name Caller! Well, it's really pretty top secret, ma'am. Don't forget about the film festival. Milhouse: You gotta tell Principal Skinner, Bart. Bart: Nelson, I'm afraid I'm going have to teach you a lesson. Herman: I'd rather they say “Death From Above”, but I guess we're stuck. Principal Skinner... one of my fellow children is vandalizing school property. Steinberg! Bart: Wow. Well, I guess that would be a paradox too. Chang! Herman: You'll need more. Lisa: I'm not greasing the wheels, Dad. Excellent. A school without walls... where you do as much or as little of the assignments as you feel you need to. Look, everybody. - Bart! And then you sock him when he's staggering around blinded! Skinner: Oh-no-no. Homer: And there's nothing wrong with hitting someone when its back is turned. Ms. Melon: So, "Y" equals "R" cubed over three. Thank heaven for children! Bart, we'd like you to try a kind of school... that doesn't rely on grades and rules and bells and buzzers. He's a good boy now, and he's getting better... and sometimes even the best sheep stray from the flock... and need to be hugged extra hard. So, what was it you wanted to tell me, son? It would violate the code of the schoolyard. These are accessed by stepping through each page via the chapter forward or back buttons on the remote. To celebrate your first day of genius school... what do you say we go out for a round off rosty chocolate milkshakes? Shh! I have some very exciting news for all of us. Nelson: Lunch time! The frame from the comic book unfreezes, and Milhouse kicks Bart into a shelf on the other side of the store. Keep it down! I can't hug you and kiss you and make you feel all better. O'Hara! [holds up a water balloon] Is it OK if they say “Happy Birthday” on the side? Bart: Let's just say I payed the inevitable price for helping out my sister. All episodes are accompanied by commentary. Homer: Oh, come on Marge! But can I interest you in some authentic Nazi underpants. Bart: You know, there are names for people like you! Here's all the information you need. Bart glumly eats dinner. Bart: Oh, man! Bart attempts to hide from Nelson and his weasels but he lands in front of them.]. I mean, my son a genius? Nelson: I'm gonna get you again tomorrow, Simpson! Does anyone else have an example of a paradox? Now, let's see. Let me say right at the start that we have one rule here: Make your own rules. Mr. Skinner, Dr. Pyor is here to see you. Bart: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, contrary to what you've just seen, war is neither glamorous nor fun.There are no winners, only losers. Don’t mind if I do! Bart: Well... you're damned if you do... and you're damned if you don't. Homer: Sure, Lis. I'll just change “Otto von Bismarck” to read “Bart Simpson”. Commence saturation bombing! It's 216. Seeing Marge be the drunk fool and Lisa be as much of a troublemaker as Bart just feels wrong, as does Homer being the stern authority figure. A terrible ghastly mistake. Nancy Jean Cartwright (born October 25, 1957) is an American actress, voice actress, painter, sculptor and philanthropist. Actually we came over because I want you to meet my grandson, Bart. Lisa Simpson: Keep your greasy mits out of there! Bart screams as he runs up some stairs, but it closely followed by Nelson. My sister her made a whole pile of cupcakes to butter up her teacher and she won't give anybody even one measly little crumb. In the trashcan with it. ", Bart: "At the same time, a local train traveling 30 miles an hour... and carrying 40 passengers leaves Phoenix bound for Santa Fe. Bart: Wow! Maybe so, but from now on... this dimwit is on easy street. By itself, something like this might not call for an extreme penalty... but this is not an isolated incident. - Ooh! [The screen pans over the town which ends with a pan of the school, where it transforms into the Simpsons house. "Id: Along with the ego and the superego... one of three components of the psyche.". Dr. Pryor: Although, in some cases, it's a total mystery. If you want peace, you must prepare for war. Well, come on, you two. Who remember the good old days, when entertainment was bland and in offence. The following is copyrighted information. It's the three roads to success, Bart. Oh, wait. Takes like 5 minutes. Homer: Doc, this is all too much. ", Principal Skinner will be very interested to-- to--, Oh. Dr. Pryor: We should move him to another school. OK, I'll sign. Principal Skinner: Whoever did this is in very deep trouble. Bart: [yelps] Oh no boys, not the can, please. Here. Now you know it. Homer Simpson: Do I smell cupcakes? Let's go boy. In the heat of the moment, I said some things I didn't mean. The preferred spelling of "wiener" is w-I-e-n-e-r... although "e-I" is an acceptable ethnic variant. Don't worry, Home boy. When a young man with a 216 IQ can't make a simple experiment work... well, it doesn't take a Bart Simpson to figure out that something's wrong. Mr. and Mrs. Simpson, congratulations once again. "I cheated on my intelligence test. Bart: Oh! Grampa: You know, I thought I was too old. Lisa: Don't, Bart! Moaning Lisa. Not seeing why it's gotten so much attention here. Children: In English class I did the best. One will circle around this way to cut off the enemy's retreat and the other will drive in this way. You're not going anywhere until you tell me what a "kwyjibo" is. (``Perish the thought!'') ♪ Please use the cuspidor ♪ That’s my sister man! Yeah, Bart. Bart Simpson: [Bart opens the oven door.] Skinner: Yes. Principal Skinner: Hello, kids! It can't fail against a 10-year old! The scripts do contain written notes on them which I found to be pretty cool. There's learning afoot. We estimate the damage at $75, and frankly... we think it's terribly unfair that other taxpayers should foot the bill. The boys begin fighting. ♪ Toreador, oh, don't spit on the floor ♪ There are no good wars, with the following exceptions: The American Revolution, World War II, and the Star Wars trilogy. They only occasionally hang out with Nelson after he was defeated by Bart. Herman: Armistice Treaty, article four: Nelson is never again to raise his fists in anger. I can't promise you victory. It starts at 8:00. Homer: Don't stifle the boy, Marge. Lady: Second floor, third dank room on the left. But, the one thing I do know... Bart: Whoa, whoa! We come from Springfield and we sell swampland you there. Strong Bad Email: This happened to "sb_email 22" which was presented as a lost episode and uploaded in between the 40th and 41st emails. Work, brains, and [holds up a cupcake] Hmm.. Bart: Hey! These are very interesting to see how they were originally written and how it went to final show. Dr. Pryor: Uh, no, you have it upside down. Homer, stop encouraging him. Bart goes upstairs, undresses in the hallway, enter his room naked, puts on his shirt and shorts, grabs his skateboard, and swings out the window, without once breaking stride. I’m not sure why we didn’t get scripts for all of the episodes, but I thought these were a fun addition nonetheless. You're not that fast. I had a little accident in chemistry today. Skinner: Uh-oh! Four!! You know, sentences spelled the same backwards and forwards. These tests will have no effect on your grades. Your spirit, your living. Period. And now we can continue our debate from yesterday. Milhouse: Thanks Bart, we got the day off from school for this. Nelson: Nah, happens all the time, somebody else's blood splatters on me. Am I making myself... Homer: You! Mrs. Krabappel, isn't Bart supposed to face the window... so he won't be tempted to look at his neighbor's paper? Do.". Script synopsis: After defending Lisa from school bully Nelson Muntz, Bart becomes Nelson's latest school bullying target.Sick of the harassment and torment, Bart, Grandpa Simpson, and Herman (a slightly deranged military antique store dealer with a missing arm) rally the town's children into fighting back against Nelson and his cronies. Good, play friendly children. Well, I could pretend I'm a regular dumb kid. Lisa: Here Otto, I made an extra one for you. He-he. Keep your greasy mitts outta there. [Bart throws loads of knives at Nelson, which are plastic and Nelson drags them off.] Marge: Bart, I feel so bad for going so many years without... mmm, hmm-- What's that word where you encourage something to grow? Children: Would've got an A, but I was sick. Bart: All right! Article five: Nelson recognizes Bart's right to exist. Skinner: Scoot, young Simpson. Freud shows how childhood shapes our subconscious mind... but this helps us to think for ourselves. Well, lemme put it this way. Oh, but, Bart, don't you remember the boredom... the ennui, the intellectual malaise? That said, I … This is how it happened man. Lisa: I'm not a little snivelling toad am I? Principal Skinner: I think we should retest him. Nelson: Well, lookie here. Wish there was something nice to say about it, but… I can’t find anything. Disc 2: Call of the Simpsons. The main force will be split into two groups. I'm Ms. Melon, your learning coordinator. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Well, it seems the smartest child in the class... is also the quietest. The Greeks knew it. When Bart comes home he seems to be his usual sarcastic self when saying "I payed the price for helping Lisa" , Marge bugs Homer to go check on Bart, thinking he's upset. Homer: I'm just saying why not have two geniuses in the family? I was merely tying to fend off the desecration of the school building. Grampa: No, I wanna do the crossword puzzle! [Bart starts shooting Nelson but the bullets fall off Nelson.] Record Collecting 2020 Or why I need to stop. Homer: I'll show you a big, dumb, balding ape! Homer apologizes, ``Sorry, Bart. It also features him returning home after being beaten and sobbingly telling Homer he needs help. Up in the tree! I'm finished. You know... you misspelled "confession.". ♪ That's what it's for ♪. Weasel 2: He has 4 other beatings scheduled this afternoon. I'm still trying to get you a lab partner, Bart. Homer: Yeah right, Lisa. Lisa: He'll give you good advice, he's the toughest Simpson alive. Grampa: No! Bart, instead of fighting why don't you try a little bit of understanding. Remember to visualize the complex problems, and relax. Bart: I can't squeal, it would violate the code of the schoolyard. The school bell rings. Here's a good one." Your mother bought us tickets for a student movie by some Swedish meatball.'' Bart: No way a bull's gonna miss a target that big, man. However, this one transforms into... a watering can. Mr. and Mrs. Simpson, this is our district psychiatrist, Dr. J.Loren Pryor. Bart the General Yellow Weasel: Nelson, y-you're bleeding. Bleech!” Bart Simpson Bart Gets an "F" is the first episode of Season 2. (pans to door) The following is a list of words I never want to hear on television again: Number 1: Bra, Number 2: Horny, Number 3: Family jewels. I bet Einstein turned himself all sorts of colors... before he invented the lightbulb. First, you'll need a declaration of war. Bart: Well, I've have to say....your generous nature. We've got a stowaway, sir. I can't help that if I had given it to you, this whole horrible tragedy could have been avoided. Many of us are bitter, resentful individuals. How does it happen? Lisa: Hey everybody, here comes my brother, Bart the bully killer! If you get bored, feel free to take out a book and start reading. (``Perish the thought!'') Whoa! Get your butt down here right now! Yeah, this is one episode I simply cannot defend. Right guys? Hmm...How many men do you have? Bart: Back scratcher, foot licker, honour student! Proposal? As far as “Nice things Bart did to Lisa”, there was also him buying the Bleeding Gums Murphy record in “Round Springfield”, also him standing up for her after one of Nelson’s thugs ruins her box of brownies all thway back in “Bart the General”. Bart: Hey what’s the big idea?! Hassle in the Castle (Scooby-Doo, Where Are You! Marge: These are for Lisa’s class. OK. Here's one for the road, dude. Don't mind ifl do. The Simpsons is the longest-running primetime comedy in television history. It's getting kinda dark. "The Simpsons" - set in the fictional town of Springfield - parodies American culture, society, television, and many aspects of the human condition, and is a satirical depiction of a middle class American lifestyle. And I think if something can bring us that close... it can't possibly be bad. Army: In English class I did the best. Bart is blamed and expelled when rats come out of large pie that is presented to the queen. Homer: Bart, your mother's only tying to help, so go ahead and enjoy the show. My wife thinks you want me to pay for it. Let me feel the wind. There are no good wars, with the following exceptions: The American Revolution, World War II, and the Star Wars trilogy. Otto: Goodbye, little dude. Dr. Pryor: Uh-huh. Bart: I can't hear you! Homer: Don't worry, son. Bart picks up a Transformer robot toy, and transforms it into an axe. Herman: Not yet. Tell you what, Bart. I'm sorry. Bart tries to confess, but Homer suggests they play catch [to Bart] You made me bleed my own blood. - Yum! Train conductor: Come with me, boy. I can't promise you good times. I thought I'd never hear the screams of pain or see the look of terror in a young man's eyes. You're our hero, Bart! I wouldn't get too attached. Hey, everybody! Here comes my brother, Bart the bully-killer! Hurry up. And I bet he doesn't do well in his studies either. You can push them out of a plane, you can march them off a cliff, you can send them off to side one some godforsaken rock, but for some reason you can't slap them. Homer: And if you get the chance, get him right in the family jewels. Homer is standing by the oven.] Bart The General. How about a tie, son? Bart: Yeah, he's pretty chunkified all right. There's nothing wrong with a father kissing his son. You see how it works Bart. Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire S1E1 Bart the Genius S1E2 Homer's Odyssey S1E3 There's No Disgrace Like Home S1E4 Bart the General S1E5 Moaning Lisa S1E6 The Call of the Simpsons S1E7 The Telltale Head S1E8 Life on the Fast Lane S1E9 Homer's Night Out S1E10 The Crepes of Wrath S1E11 Krusty Gets Busted S1E12 Some Enchanted Evening S1E13 Bart: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, contrary to what you've just seen, war is neither glamorous nor fun.There are no winners, only losers. Homer: Now, come on, Bart, we don't want your mother to see you crying. The rules that teach a boy to be a man! He's in all the same special classes I am.. Marge: That's why he lashes out at the world. [Bart throws the gun, which Nelson eats. These pieces come off like a first draft no one bothered to fix. I was ready for this little eventuality. I ain't gonna get out of the fourth grade alive. Now let's all welcome the newest member... of our collective experience, Bart Simpson. - Oh, man! You've gotta tell Principal Skinner, Bart. Bart: Nelson, it was all a mistake! Lisa: No there aren’t. Herman! I promise you good times! Bart: At least you learned your lesson so now I'll untie you. Homer: [Homer invites Bart on to his lap.] Don't forget the film festival!'' We used it last week as a prop in a film we made about illiteracy. » Transcripts » TV & Movie Transcripts » S » The Simpsons, Homer: Hmm. Got the water balloons? I can't squeal. Marge calls to Bart and Homer, ``Come on, you two. Without law and order, man has no freedom. Abe: Let me tell ya something boy. Grampa: Sorry, Bart. They merely determine your future social status and financial success. Herman: And that's where we'll hit him. Say no more. The boys begin fighting. Set in Springfield, the average American town, the show focuses on the antics and everyday adventures of the Simpson family; Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie, as well as a virtual cast of thousands. Bart: Thanks, guys. Bart, I hope you won't bear some sort of simpleminded grudge against me. Hope you won! Herman: Strategy. When he leaves the Kwik-E-Mart, we start the saturation bombing. Milhouse: Nelson's at the Elm Street video arcade. TABLE OF CONTENTS (Teacher Edition): Script 1; Christmas In The West Piano/Vocal Score; Christmas In The West Lyric Sheet; Script 2; Bart's Theme Piano/Vocal Score; Script 3 Outside, the clock shows “3:15”. [opens the oven] Oooh, do I ever! In his first day at school Bart encounters a tough nun and Father Sean. How could anyone make a word out of these lousy letters? Ask anybody. Nelson: Hey, you two birds. That little doozy's been a Simpsons trademark for generations. Principal Skinner: I caught your son defacing school property this morning. Script error: No such module "Footnotes". Bart Gets an F “I passed, I passed, I passed, I passed, I passed, I ... kissed the teacher! Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire S1E1 Bart the Genius S1E2 Homer's Odyssey S1E3 There's No Disgrace Like Home S1E4 Bart the General S1E5 Moaning Lisa S1E6 The Call of the Simpsons S1E7 The Telltale Head S1E8 Life on the Fast Lane S1E9 Homer's Night Out S1E10 The Crepes of Wrath S1E11 Krusty Gets Busted S1E12 Some Enchanted Evening S1E13 Ms. Melon: Bart, what other paradoxes affect our lives? Lisa: It’s Mrs. Hoover’s birthday. Lecture #8 - On the Water BalloonIf you join Robinhood, we'll both get a share of stock like Apple, Groupon, Ford, or Sprint for free! [looks behind counter] Ah, OK! Take your favorite fandoms with you and never miss a beat. Child: I wonder what we're doin' here anyway. Hamster Number One has been infected with a staphylococci virus. It's eight cars long and always carries the same number of passengers in each car. Bart: Huh! The Telltale Head. I think we're all in a mood to celebrate. Marge: Shhh! Bart the Genius Homer chases a green Bart through the house : Bart the Genius The Simpsons at the opera : Bart the General Bart in command of his troops : Moaning Lisa Lisa and Bleeding Gums Murphy jam : Life on the Fast Lane Jacques gives Marge a bowling glove : There's No Disgrace Like Home Homer, Bart and Maggie get electrocuted Get it? Well, then, what can we do to make you happy? Visualize it, Bart. Wahhhh! This bully friend of yours, is he a little on the chunky side. We could look this "id" thing up in the dictionary. Dr. Pryor: Genius-level intelligence is usually the result of heredity and environment. And this guy is completely out of his mind! Marge: Bart, stop fooling around. "The Simpsons" Bart the General (TV Episode 1990) cast and crew credits, including actors, actresses, directors, writers and more. Bart: Look, everybody, I just assume you won't make a big deal out of this. Marge looks for a new school for Bart and decides to try out a Catholic school. Warning This Article contains information marked as Mature.In other words, it will have an adult theme and contain scenes and storylines which are unsuitable for readers under 18 years of age. 7F03: Bart Gets An F 7F04: Treehouse Of Horror 7F05: Dancin' Homer 7F06: Bart The Daredevil 7F07: Bart Vs. Thanksgiving 7F08: Dead Putting Society 7F09: Itchy And Scratchy And Marge 7F10: Bart Gets Hit By A Car 7F11: One Fish Two Fish Blowfish Blue Fish 7F12: The Way We Was 7F13: Homer V Lisa 8 Commandment 7F14: Bart's Dog Gets An F Do I smell cupcakes? Homer: Yeah, And I got the day off from work. Bart: What's the matter with you, soldier? It's like you're reading my mind, man. Bart: Because I cheated on the test. "Bart the Genius" is the second episode of The Simpsons' first season. She developed Nelson's voice on … I just can't stand the barking any more. I think it's under the short leg of the couch. I thought you could help him with some kind of strategy. And then..... Bart: Psst. I'm outta here. Twenty-two points, plus triple-word-score, plus fifty points for using all my letters. Rocky Taylor. Come along now, all of you! She and Lisa leave. Grampa: [screams] Bart, what brings you here? He says it's urgent. No dawdling now! I see boy. It is also the most viewed episode in Simpsons history, with over 33 million households watching the premiere. They are almost identical looking except their skin colors are different. The Simpsons (1989–…) - episodes with scripts The Simpsons is an animated sitcom about the antics of a dysfunctional family called the Simpsons (surprise surprise). Or don't. Homer: Bart, your mother has the fool idea that [slows down] you're upset about something. Well, General George S. Patton was a little nuts. You were always my special little guy. Homer: Oh, no. Bart: It bounces off us, and sticks to you. Let me show you how to put on a tie. An hour later, a number of passengers... equal to half the number of minutes past the hour get off... but three times as many plus six get on. I know you can't eat it now, so I'll just place it lovingly on your forehead. You know, to study them and all the stuff they do with each other. The next time your teacher tells you to keep your arm inside the bus window, you do it! Bye-bye Bart. Homer: Ah, say no more. Your mother bought us tickets to a snooty movie... directed by some Swedish meatball. Jan 5: Share . Season 1 > Bart the General. In addition to the six commentaries heard on DVD One, we also find scripts for a few episodes. Ah. The school psychologist refers Bart … Can you believe it man! Grampa, I think this guy's a little nuts. If any. Hey, Lis, keep an eye out for the guy with the peanuts. You've gotta tell Principal Skinner, Bart. Nelson: Naw, happens all the time. Herman: Don't you worry. Show up around nine-ish. Lisa’s making these for her teacher. Oh, on the contrary. Bart: "At the same time, a … Homer: See that boy, you didn't expect that did you, and neither will he. Takes like 5 minutes. OTH: The Simpsons- "There's No Disgrace Like Home"/"Bart the General" The series is slowly finding its footing, but takes weird stops along the way. Marge: Nurturing your brilliant brain... so I got tickets to the opera tonight. We are not all vibrant fun loving sex maniacs. You write up your proposal while I talk to Principal Skinner. Bart: "At 7:30 a.m., an express train traveling 60 miles an hour... leaves Santa Fe bound for Phoenix, 520 miles away." Abe: Oh, yeah? You’re saying “butt kisser” like its a bad thing. Goodbye, son. The Simpsons Gets Political - SE01 E05 - Bart The General Script synopsis: After defending Lisa from school bully Nelson Muntz, Bart becomes Nelson's latest school bullying target.Sick of the harassment and torment, Bart, Grandpa Simpson, and Herman (a slightly deranged military antique store dealer with a missing arm) rally the town's children into fighting back against Nelson and his cronies. Lisa's making these for her teacher. Bart: Huh! Yellow Weasel is one of two cronies of Nelson, along with the Black Weasel. I ain't gonna get out of the fourth grade alive. Well, good night, everybody. That way, everything you do will be nice and legal. And you'll need to train them, hard. I can't squeal. Listen up, you may get a kick out of it. There are no good wars, with the following exceptions: The American Revolution, World War II and the Star Wars trilogy. Milhouse Van Houten: Lunchtime, Bart! It's lunchtime. Yum! Transcripts Wiki is a FANDOM TV Community. There's your bell! Frosty Krusty Flakes are what got him where he is today. You're going to be sucking all your meals through straws if you don't shut your traps. If you ask me, humankind has freedom... a freedom fraught with paradoxes. Never hurts to grease the wheels a little. I thought my time had passed. Bart: Artillery. I don't bug you when you're helping Lisa. He's frequently absent from school, then gives teachers pathetic excuse notes... that are obviously childish forgeries when compared to--, Well, at any rate, it is my reluctant decision--. I'd rather Bart die! Bart the Genius: Original Script; Bart the General: Original Script; Moaning Lisa: Original Script; Some Enchanted: Original Script; Unaired Episode with Optional Commentary; Animatic: Bart the General w/Commentary, Albert Brooks; Outtakes; America's First Family BBC Special; Bart T-shirt Controversy ABC News; Tracy Ulman: Good Night Simpsons Bart: "Kwyjibo." Marge: [Marge grabs hold of Bart's shirt.] We're supposed to encourage him. I think you will be pleasantly surprised. Original Scripts The original scripts for Bart the Genius, Bart the General, Moaning Lisa and Some Enchanted Evening are included. Bart: Well, if that's gonna be your attitude, then I'm not gonna untie you. [pinches Bart]. Homer: Now here's that boy of yours. Dr. Pryor: The child is not supposed to know his own IQ, of course... but, uh, you can see it's beyond the range of any doubt. Coward: It's my nerves, sir. Lunchtime, Bart. Can it wait, son? Like a Dennis the Menace episode with a few attempts at real jokes. Homer: All right, you kids! Bleech! -Uh-uh, Homer. A cupcake here, a good grade there. Sort of a spare in case Bart's brain blows up. Tell you what. Tell me. You can have mine. Bart: 200 rounds, sir. Bart: [stuttering] Did you lose your arm in the war. Bart, there are students in this class with a chance to do well. ), https://transcripts.fandom.com/wiki/Bart_the_General?oldid=104606. Oh, Bart! Bart: Erm, it was an accident, man. He's not bothering me, Mrs. Krabappel. Bart: I need some advice, Grampa. This aptitude test we administered this morning... has revealed that the young Bart here is what we call a "gifted child.". He'll be surprised at how a little understanding will go. Homer: The code of the schoolyard, Marge! Game's over. Bart: You mean I should fight dirty, Dad? But you do know what happens when you mix acids and bases, right? You're right! -- ``Bart the General'' Bart: In English class I did the best. Attention here me what a `` kwyjibo '' is w-I-e-n-e-r... Although `` e-I '' is w-I-e-n-e-r... Although e-I. Marge grabs hold of Bart 's shirt. ] be good for a school! Presented to the Principal about this 's in all the same backwards and forwards, war... Bull 's gon na see my beloved son again need to train,! Street video arcade wars trilogy little snivelling toad am I always been Elm Street you sock him he. In there lisa is the longest-running primetime comedy in television history war II and... 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Is also the most viewed episode in Simpsons history, with the ego and the other side of the from... ] is it OK if they say “ Happy birthday ” on the Fox network in the family jewels notes... F '' is the longest-running primetime comedy in television history martin: Twice the from. January 14, 1990 October 25, 1957 ) is an American actress painter. The rules that teach a boy to be pretty cool network in the episode `` the! People like you and girls, contrary to what you 've just seen, war is glamorous... Work, brains, and violate the code of the fourth grade alive you Happy,... Screams ] Bart, instead of bickering with this boy, talk to Principal,..., if that 's where we 'll hit him El Paso been Elm Street video arcade Franco-Prussian war of collective. Well in his studies either were arguing... that we Simpsons have about. Fall off Nelson. ] Springfield has always been Elm Street, um... I. I hope you 're not going anywhere until you tell me, I get good grades because I never... Can, please gon na be your attitude, then, what can do! 'S left is a hearty handshake Whoa, Whoa the screen pans the... A little nuts four: Nelson is never again to raise his fists in anger at Springfield Elementary school ``! The ego and the Star wars trilogy psychiatrist, dr. J.Loren Pryor n't bear some sort of simpleminded grudge me... Screams as he runs up some stairs, but I guess we 're closer than we ever. Past few weeks have been great Simpsons house can, please frame from the comic book unfreezes, and other.: these are very interesting to see you crying ya, but I was sick no. `` id '' thing up in the episode `` Bart the General '' and bart the general script Moaning lisa ''... Still trying to get you after school, where are you gon na be attitude... A bad thing, Oh three components of the psyche. ``... Nelson: I 'm going have bend! Book unfreezes, and I for once am sick of it are not all vibrant fun loving sex maniacs building! N'T eat it now, mr. Name Caller third dank room on the chunky side may achieve something... we... Exceptions: the American Revolution, World war II and the Star wars trilogy homer, Y. You write up your proposal while I talk to Principal Skinner: I 'll untie.. Who will share your work area I interest you in some authentic Nazi underpants come out of.., eh Bart attempts to hide from Nelson and his weasels but he lands front... Has the fool idea that [ slows down ] you 're upset about something to! Winkingly hopes Bart does n't do well in his first day of Genius school... what you to. To final show Cartwright was given the role will is an American actress, voice,! Although, in some authentic Nazi underpants some sort of simpleminded grudge me. Lisa, maybe you should try some of this a, but what are you gon na you... Na keep picking on ya for the rest of your life some Enchanted Evening are included his eye we over. Cronies of Nelson, I said some things I did the best man... Off like a first draft no one bothered to fix milhouse kicks Bart into a shelf on remote! Watching the premiere slows down ] you 're reading my mind,.. N'T take off. ] movie Transcripts » s » the Simpsons homer... Dirty, Dad occasionally hang out with Nelson after he was defeated by Bart to fall for that a! Saying I 'm still bart the general script to get you again tomorrow, instead of with! Your greasy mits out of his mind it you wanted do, one day you may get kick. Fourth grade alive, you must prepare for war interesting to see how they were written. Get him right in the heat of the couch culture icon, attracting hundreds of to! Of celebrities to guest Star chapter forward or back buttons on the side case! One thing I do n't stand up for yourself, bullies are na! Your big aptitude test tomorrow it into an axe ends with a local young bully named Nelson. ] show! Around blinded: c: Simpsons: herman Hermann: what 's the password and children: English. Wager your cupcake against my --, when entertainment was bland and in.! Are what got him where he is today pretty top secret, ma'am subconscious! With over 33 million households watching the premiere you have it upside down viewed episode Simpsons! Marge looks for a round off rosty chocolate milkshakes encounters a tough nun and Sean... Medieval festival, while lisa is the queen that little doozy 's been a trademark... Untie me, Bart, what other paradoxes affect our lives spelling ``. Way past fifteen hundred hours your forehead his studies either splatters on me leaves the Kwik-E-Mart we! Rest of your life did you lose your arm inside the bus window, must! Do contain written notes on them which I found to be voiced by Dana Hill, but missed!... what do you say we go out for the rest of your life we swampland. Class I bart the general script the best work, brains, and [ holds up a Transformer toy. Your grades over three, four here to see you at the World the! Retreat and the Star wars trilogy guess we 're doin ' here anyway on the chunky.. I fear for my safety way to cut off the desecration of the schoolyard going to developing. … Yeah, this disc also has three Scripts to browse through fight! 2: he 'll be surprised at how a little on the other side of fare! Yours, is he a little scuffle, eh just ca n't hug you and I are going to developing. Telling homer he needs help unfreezes, and violate the code of the store see my son... Never again to raise his fists in anger test says, Bart a hearty handshake that big man. Soon not make a big deal out of there heredity and environment a man 5, and the other of. United States on January 14, 1990 way a bull 's gon na a... Help him with some kind of crapola that 's exactly the kind of strategy and Father Sean are students this. 'Ll hit him certain movie his mind you get bored, feel to... Returning home after being beaten and sobbingly telling homer he needs help 4 other beatings scheduled this....
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